Finding the house of your dreams might seem pretty easy. You know what you want and like. You feel like you will know the perfect house when you see it. The minute you find “the one”, it will be love at first sight. It will just feel right, like it was meant to be. Kind of like the notion of finding your soulmate. Back in the day, finding your ideal house or soulmate was a lot trickier. Until...the Internet. Nowadays, there are tons of websites for people to find the love of their life...and just as many to help people find the home of their dream. The Internet has made it easier to find “the one”...in love, and housing. But just because it is easier for you to find your soulmate, or your “soulhouse”, doesn’t mean you are in any position to do something about it. Fate can only take you so far. Reality has to be dealt with… Your “relationship” status in terms of housing has to be considered.
Let’s say you are married... All of a sudden, you stumble into your someone who you feel is your soulmate somewhere. Could be at work, online, at a bar, at the gym. Doesn’t really matter. Let’s put all debate about “right” or “wrong” aside... You decide to ditch your significant other, and follow the passionate path, and marry this new man or woman. You’re going to have to deal with your marriage. You can’t ignore it. It is an issue. You can’t still be married, and actually marry your newly found soulmate. You could fool around. You could have an affair. But you aren’t getting married without ending the marriage you already have. It’s kind of the same thing if you find the house of your dreams… If you already own a house, it’s like being married. Most people don’t have the ability to buy another house, without selling the house they already own. So, what do you do? Should you sell the house you already own first, and just hope your dream house appears once your house is sold? Or do you keep your eyes open for your dream house, find it, fall in love, and then scurry to get your house sold as quickly as possible, before your dream home gets scooped up by someone else? There is no easy solution to this.
There is a lot more to ending a marriage than there is when you are simply dating someone. So, if you are dating someone, and you fall head over heels for someone else, you can end things a little more quickly and easily. But, of course there will most likely be some headaches and heartaches to deal with.
If you are renting a house or an apartment, and you come across the house of your dreams, you are probably not going to find it is the perfect timing. Maybe you will have to try and end your lease early. Or maybe you will have to continue paying your rent until the lease ends. But these are not huge issues in the grand scheme of things. You are in better position to go after the house of your dreams, than someone who is married to a house they already own.
A lot of people look at being single as undesirable. Even more so if you are living at home still with your parents. Let’s face it, if you you’re looking for your soulmate, you probably don’t want to fess up to living in your childhood bedroom, or your parent’s basement. It doesn’t sound all that impressive or intriguing. (Whatever...if someone is truly a soulmate, they should be totally cool with you being a cellar dwellar!)
As unimpressive as this scenario sounds to some people, this is the best scenario to be able to act upon finding your dream home. You have nothing to sell, and no lease to worry about. This is as good and easy as it gets.
Things happen in life. Life throws curveballs. People grow apart. People make mistakes. People split up. People hurt each other. And people who go through a breakup often have “emotional baggage”. Plenty of people end up getting “divorced” from their own home…
This doesn’t mean you are unworthy of finding and getting your dream home. But it might affect you being able to get it. It depends on a lot of factors.
Most people do not really consider their current housing “relationship” when they start looking for their dream home. It usually starts off as some wishful thinking. Maybe browsing a few websites...just seeing what’s out there. Then it progresses to flirting with possibilities, perhaps. Before you know it, there you are...in love with the house of your dreams. So, you call a real estate agent who “introduces” you to the house in-person. Sure enough, it’s “the one”! Maybe you’re in position to jump on the chance to follow your heart… But, unless you’re “single”, most likely you are not. And it is absolutely heartbreaking. You aren’t ready for the new relationship. You need to deal with the one you already have. The best way to avoid any heartache is to put yourself in the best possible position to grab your dream home when you find it. This doesn’t mean you need to be absolutely “single” before you start looking for your dream home. But you do need to have a plan in place as to how you will transition from your current housing relationship, into one with the home of your dreams. There is no one solution, or even an easy solution.
Let your agent put on his or her “marriage counseling” hat, and advise you on the best way to plan for and make the transition from your current housing relationship, to the one of your dreams.